The most passive-aggressive man I know called me Mister everytime I saw him. And I saw him a lot. He was the club professional at the golfing pasture we belonged to.

He called everyone else by their first name… imagine Norm walking into Cheers and everyone called out “Mr. Peterson!”  Not fun.  When I walked into the club pro shop, it was always Mr. X. First few times I asked him to call me by my first name. Nope. Passive-Aggressive. I didn’t fit in. He would call my wife by her first name.

He won. He died and obviously his little mind games are still with me.

But nobody calls me Mister. And I’m Close To Dead so I’m old enough that age along should earn me that.  Even the doctor’s receptionist calls me by my first name. Probably some percieved HIPAA requirement .

Technically, I could be known as Colonel. I’m a Kentucky Colonel. Which like the Hollywood Star of Fame, just requires minimal qualification and a charitible donation.

Colonel Mister On Number Nine With a Wedge.