I don’t follow football. I know that disqualifies me from being a real guy, but that’s life.

I like watching the Colts because I like the way Payton Manning improvises. I was watching the game yesterday when he called a hurry-up play and caught the other team substituting.

The announcer made it sound like that was cheating. He said something to the effect that Manning may seem like a nice guy, but then he will pull something like that. He observed that the other coach seem perturbed about the hurry-up play.

Later the same announcers talked about what a nice guy the coach of the Colts is.

This morning Terrell Owens, a star of the Cowboys, cried at a press conference when his quarterback was criticized.

What in the name of odd shaped pigskin balls is going on?

Lean closer and I’ll tell you: the coaches are wimps. There are more wimpy, nice-guy, coaches in football than any other major team sport.

When is the last time you saw a coach get thrown out of a football game. Never? The NFL even arms the coaches with a legal projectile. It’s the challenge flag. Ever see a football coach just rare back and wing one at the ref’s head? Of course not. They get the ref’s attention and show them the flag, and then toss it about six feet in front of where they are standing. They drop it like Miss Kitty dropping her hankie in front of Marshal Dillon.

Basketball coaches storm up and down, the stomp, they cuss, they get thrown out of games. Baseball coaches kick dirt, turn their hats around backwards, spit, throw bases and get thrown out of games. Even soccer coaches get thrown off the field. I guess it’s rare that a hockey coach (hardly qualifies as a major sport) gets thrown out, but they have real fights! and nobody gets thrown out.

If a football coach would pull out a can of Bud and clonk a ref on the bean, the team would be penalized 15 yards. If he did it again, it would probably be another 15 yard penalty, etc. etc.

Woody Hayes is pinwheeling in his grave.