The Manly Meme. Argh. REVISED.
I’m not going to spend a lot of time on this. I’m going to play it straight forward with an occasional aside.
Revision: This is what I’m thinking.
1. Boxers? Briefs? Boxer briefs? Thongs? Commando?
Boxer briefs
Except in the summer after a shower, love the floppy legged shorts to air dry.
2. What’s your fussiest personal care routine?
Exfoliate my face
Trimming the hair on and in my nose.
3. Do you have a favorite tool? Power or manual?
No
And you are a tool for asking.
4. Can you change your own oil? Do you?
Yes No
I don’t use oil, I use Miller Chill. Yes
5. What’s the “manliest” thing you do on a regular basis?
Fingers in mouth whistle
Read Esquire Maxim
6. What’s something “manly” that you never learned how to do?
Shoot a pistol
Use a rubber.
7. Do you ever cry? If so, what’s your trigger?
Yes Death
I’m close now. Personal introspection.
8. Do you have a chivalrous streak? How does it manifest itself?
Yes Opening doors
Yes, high fives when she belches really loud
9. Do you have a chauvinistic streak? How does it manifest itself?
Yes Women should not say f*ck
Yes Women should not write manly memes
10. What’s your favorite movie?
Godfather
Godfather
11. What’s the dumbest, testosterone-inspired thing you’ve ever done?
Got drunk at a wedding a kissed a lot of younger women
Drowned a kitten
12. What quality do you think makes a good man good? Do you have that quality?
Sense of humor Yes
Good gawd, WTF?
13. Toilet seat up or down?
Up
Up
14. If your wife/partner/significant other is away, do you cook for yourself or eat out of cans and boxes (or rely on local drive-throughs and delivery)?
Is eating cake dough cooking? I eat drive through or junk from grocery store
Same
15. What societal expectation of being a man do you most resent?
Being good at and enjoy watching sports
Shaving
16. What’s the best part – societal-wise – about being a man?
Low maintenance
Low maintenance
17. Will you stop to ask for directions?
Eventually
No
18. What’s the one thing you wish your wife/partner/significant other understood about how you think or behave?
Sometimes I don’t have anything to say.
Yeah, this was done by a woman alright.
19. What’s one thing about your wife/partner/significant other that you just cannot understand, no matter how hard you try?
Clutter
Why is she always better at everything we do together?
20. What do you need to have in the shower?
Soap
Mr. Tubby Bubble
21. Do you burp/fart/scratch in public? Do you do anything stereotypically male?
No Pick my nose
Same
22. How big a part does porn play in your life? Your thoughts?
None She caught me so I quit
Same
23. What scares you?
Tower of Terror
The unexpected
24. What’s your best feature (physical or otherwise)?
Hair
My driving skills
25. What would you do for love?
What a stupid question. I quit. Some of the others were really lame, but this is just stupid. stupid. stupid. How am I supposed to answer that? I would do anything? Well murder is out. I did pretty good until this one. I kept the snark very low. I can’t believe somebody put this in meme. A manly meme yet. Fer gawds sake! Boy was I stupid not to read all the way through. OK, here’s my answer: I don’t know. No, that’s not my answer, my answer is THIS IS A STUPID QUESTION. How’s that?
Think of her when I pee.
Arrggh, you used the C word! That DOES hurt! Well, tit for tat. (Hee.)
@Nancy: THAT’S what I would do for love… I may revise my last answer – I may revise them all as a matter of fact.
It warms my heart that you think of my while peeing!
@Gretchen: God dammit. Pay attention. I SAID: you can use it or write it. I don’t care. It’s my problem that when a cunt uses it when I’m around I feel uncomfortable.
Wait, I missed that. Women shouldn’t say the F word? I beg to differ. The way you can tell a lady is that we always pronounce the “g” in “fucking” (as opposed to saying “fuckin'” which is dreadfully crude).
Can I say “effing”? Because that’s what I usually say when speaking, because of the kids and all.
@Nancy: I thought of that this morning while I was peeing. I figured you would set the record straight.
Hmmm…noticed you’ve been married for 38 years….funny, I’ve been married 40 years this August….that must be an interesting insight.
@Queen of Shake Shake: nope, doesn’t bother me at all to read it, because it’s my voice. If we were together in person, yes I would be.
Hmmmm, so wimmin shouldn’t say f@ck. Hmmmm, you must stay uncomfortable when you read my blog. ha!
Commando, hee. My boys call it freeballin’ — and they always sing about it to the tune of the Tom Petty song, “Freefalling.” I can’t hear that song anymore without thinking of dangling nuts.
But that’s pure Crumpacker.
Oh gawd, you can remember your Myers Briggs? Did you take one recently?
What a bunch of mumbo jumbo garbage unless a qualified professional is working with you.
I took a run at the list and realized my guitar blog readers wouldn’t get it. Nonetheless, great therapy session! I now realize how accurate my Myers-Briggs score is.
@nessa: it’s OK, I won’t hate you for it. I don’t even care if you write it. It’s just a thang with me that when women SAY it I’m uncomfortable. My problem. Not yours. 🙂
I so want to say f*ck ; D
@Mrs. Chili: Oh just stop it. Just because I came to your site and mouthed off you don’t have to make me pay.
You said you don’t have a lot of insight into the male mind. I’ve been married for 38 years. How the hell do I know what I’ve been doing? 🙂
Thanks for playing, even if you did get frustrated at the end. Any idea why that question bugged you so much? There must be a trigger there…